Hazzard Ahead

Labor Day

Boy Wonder — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 00:53:31 +0000

Hello all. Johnny is in New York City this weekend so it’s up to me to let you all know that season two of The Lair, starring Mr. Hazzard, will premiere this Friday September 5th on the Here! network. If you get that channel you should check it out.

Can’t Just Sit Around

Johnny — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:34:59 +0000

To all of the people that have hounded me about doing another dance video over the past two years - it didn’t help. We are always thinking about a new dance video to do. I love to dance, that was never the problem, and Boy Wonder does most of the work so it really comes [...]

No, Really, I Mean It - No Shit

Johnny — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 01:09:19 +0000

For a very long time that doesn’t really need to be defined here, I have been talking about making custom shirts to sell. And then there would be no mention for a while, and it would crop up again until finally I was forbidden from mentioning anything about it until I was ready to back [...]

Philadelphia (Not The Movie)

Johnny — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:36:16 +0000

Earlier this month I had the opportunity to visit Philadelphia for their 14th Gay and Lesbian Film Festival courtesy of our friends at TLA. The C1R Triple Threat In addition to some quality time with the Boss Lady and Blake Riley I got to hang with some Channel 1 VIPs that we do not get to see [...]

Yazoo Woo Hoo!

Boy Wonder — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 03:01:24 +0000

Last week I stumbled across a rather catchy remix of Nobody’s Diary by Yazoo on my musical travels. The hook of the song was criminally missing, but as soon as the vocal kicked in I was reminded just how dear that song used to be to me. This led to a bit of a revival [...]

Game Airage

Johnny — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:28:19 +0000

Wow, all sorts of crazy things have been going on with me. It’s madness, I tell you! When my personal life is packed with conflict and whatnot it becomes easier for me to completely overlook important events. What could I be talking about? Oh I don’t know… maybe… same sex marriage is now recognized by [...]

Calling Our Rural Brethren

Johnny & Boy Wonder — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 22:15:56 +0000

As urban gay guys in a metro gay ghetto it is quite easy for us to lose perspective on what it means to be a homo in the real world. To make matters worse, we are bombarded with negative media regarding attitudes towards gays in, shall we say, less traveled areas of the country. Let’s [...]

We Take It Back

Johnny — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 23:52:27 +0000

Once again my method of enjoying something by dreading it first paid off. The pride festival was thoroughly enjoyable Saturday because the crowd was pretty thin. And even though the beer was crap - it was only $5 so at least we didn’t feel robbed of cash as well as flavor. Thank you to the many [...]

Happy LA Pride

Boy Wonder — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 23:05:20 +0000

I’m kidding, of course. We are DREADING pride for many reasons not limited to unbearable bad behavior let loose on the streets; the non-stop bump of dull, soulless dance music at all hours; rainbow EVERYTHING; no parking - anywhere; urban legends of finding parking somewhere; admission fees that used to be donations that have gone [...]

Deeper Into You (Remix) Now Available

Johnny — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:04:31 +0000

Today the Solar City Remix of Deeper Into You was made available to the world on iTunes. Recently Boy Wonder wrapped up the re-edit of the video for the original version, but hasn’t yet taken the time to do anything with it. *hint* Members of Hazzard Central will be the first to get a peek [...]

How About A Nice, Hot Cuppa Shut The Fuck Up?!

Boy Wonder — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:21:06 +0000

This text will be replaced var so = new SWFObject('http://hazzardahead.com/flash/mediaplayer.swf','mpl','360','240','8'); so.addParam('allowscriptaccess','always'); so.addParam('allowfullscreen','true'); so.addVariable('showicons','true'); so.addVariable('overstretch','fit'); so.addVariable('height','240'); so.addVariable('width','360'); so.addVariable('file','/media/estate-hi.flv'); so.addVariable('image','/images/20080515a.jpg'); so.addVariable('frontcolor','0x000000'); so.addVariable('displayheight','240'); so.addVariable('searchbar','false'); so.write('player'); On this date last year I posted this video of Johnny on You Tube to promote his new membership web site. Today I’m posting it here to showcase some new video features available thanks to the wonderful Jeroen Wijering media player. We’ve been using his player for [...]

Pets Are Better Than Humans

Johnny — Wed, 07 May 2008 20:53:54 +0000

This story has been on the back burner for ages. Sometimes it’s better to talk about something after the fact. I’ve whittled this down considerably and yet it is still reeeeally long so I’ve decided to pepper it with photos! That’s right. This is all about Petey. When I first got him it was clear that he [...]

Fuckin’ Hooters

Johnny — Sun, 04 May 2008 01:45:00 +0000

My recent trip to Las Vegas to help celebrate their pride event was surprisingly enjoyable thanks to the antics and companionship of Trevor Knight and Tommy Blade. An abstract Tommy An even more abstract Trevor Knight Porn Star Cubed Tommy was lucky enough to have patrons write on him with markers all night Get a load of the fantastic acrobat [...]

Finally WeHo

Johnny — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 06:27:34 +0000

People in my life sometimes like to point out that things often go my way. Maybe things do happen for me more easily than for others, but it certainly didn’t feel that way in March. I was trying to find a living situation in West Hollywood and a renter for my place in Palm Springs [...]

Now With Batteries

Johnny — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 02:12:51 +0000

This isn’t all that comfortable for me to casually talk about, but I’ve been assured that it’s blogworthy news. A press release from Channel 1 Releasing on Monday announced the launch of an all new Johnny Hazzard sex toy - this time it vibrates. One of the selling points is that it was molded right [...]

Country Road

Johnny — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:51:53 +0000

Last Saturday I went to Morgantown, WV to perform at the Military Ball in a club called Vice Versa. What a cute name for a bar! This was my second visit to the venue. The first time was four years back when I was a wee porn pup. I was pleasantly surprised with the atmosphere. [...]

Ab Fab Series 2 Trivia Quiz

Johnny — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:27:33 +0000

This video took longer to make than Cleopatra and feels almost as long. Still, I couldn’t bear to wait a minute longer so for all my fellow Ab Fab freaks out there: This is for you!

More Chess, Less Pole Position

Johnny & Boy Wonder — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 00:21:39 +0000

Road rage is a big problem around the country and particularly here in Los Angeles. What most people don’t realize is that while road rage is a condition experienced by the driver, the cause is a collaborative effort in which we all partake. Some people think they can beat the traffic gridlock by breaking rules [...]

Good For Me, Good For You

Boy Wonder — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 03:16:45 +0000

Johnny and I were hanging out today and he decided without prompting to check the blog to see how long it had been since an we had an update. Realize that this is normally a function that falls flatly on me because I am the one on the front lines of operations and whatnot. Well, [...]

This Time With Clothes And Words

Johnny — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 08:26:03 +0000

“I’m afraid to touch him too much, what if he has a disease or something?” So ended filming for me on The Lair last Friday night. On the whole… I really enjoyed the experience. It was a far cry from what I expected. I envisioned three cameras on rollers that captured enough footage at a time [...]

It Feels Like The First Time

Johnny — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 20:00:17 +0000

Living in Palm Springs has been wonderful, but for some time now I have felt that my time here is done. The courses have been dropped and all the flatware has been cleared; your time here is done, goodbye and come again. I need to be somewhere alive and stimulating; Palm Springs is where people [...]

Valentine, Get Bent

Boy Wonder — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 15:16:02 +0000

The other day I asked Johnny if he wanted to do a joint entry on Valentine’s Day. He liked the idea so I asked him for his opinion of the holiday. He wasn’t very forthcoming and I finally worked it out that he has no opinion because he’s never been involved with anyone who merited [...]

Jam & Jerusalem

Boy Wonder — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:34:53 +0000

A few weeks ago I decided to rent Clatterford from Netflix. Since I love Jennifer Saunders I figured it was time to check out her newest project. After watching the first three episodes I was charmed. A dramatic departure from Ab Fab, Clatterford is dignified and endearing in a very “everyday” sort of way. Humor [...]

Holiday Revenge

Johnny — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 23:18:31 +0000

The day after my Thanksgiving in Hell I quit that ridiculous job and said goodbye to the pompous owner, to boring and fruitless evening shifts and to two of my new friends Camille and Chris. It was no victory for me. Whatever mild relief I may have felt by ditching the bad restaurant gig was [...]

Mother Told Me There’d Be Nights Like This

Johnny — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 19:39:53 +0000

On the final evening of a not-so-recent trip to Boston I was treated to an evening of laughs with old friends and arguments with new assholes. The friend I was visiting ditched me for a date that night so I made plans with her roommate, Mikala, also an old pal of mine. We met after [...]

What Do I Have To Do To Get Out Of Here?

Johnny — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 21:32:25 +0000

It was my tenth birthday, my first double digit celebration at our summer weekend destination on Catawba Island on Lake Erie. We spent every weekend there and most of our vacations and I hated it. I hated having to pack and then drive two hours, on a good day, to the island. My father had [...]

Anything With A Pulse Is Lunch

Johnny — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 00:31:20 +0000

My last meal of 2007 was shrimp tempura and it was amazing, but it was my second to last meal of 2007 that deserves mention. Having missed every blessed holiday of the season due to a job that ended up in the crapper I thought it only fair to surprise Ma Hazzard on her birthday. This [...]

Like An Old Friend

Johnny — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 21:44:35 +0000

When I walked into my local coffee shop the other morning “Same Ole Layne Syne” by Dan Folgerberg was playing. It reminded me that he left this Earth last week. Mara called me the day after to ask me if I had heard. I had not and was devastated by the news. I was glad [...]

Charity Is “IN”

Boy Wonder — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 08:58:54 +0000

A friend of mine suckered me into volunteering for the Warner Brothers annual holiday party for homeless gay youth of Los Angeles. I mean, how do you say “no” to an invitation of that nature? I like my assholery to be of a certain brand. The party was a raging success; plenty of smiles, hot [...]

Thanksgiving Part 2

Johnny — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 01:37:41 +0000

Thanksgiving at work had been a real joy so far. Bad manners, cheap guests and disappointment abounded and it was far from over. The owner of the hotel came in with a party of six. The staff were nervous right away because he can be very demanding and a bit rude. I had no fear [...]

Thanksgiving Part 1

Johnny — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 21:35:41 +0000

I hope that your Thanksgiving was full of laughs and that you spent it with people close to you… or at least your experience was as trauma free as possible. On the great day of thanks I worked a long shift at a new restaurant. Not new to to the world; in fact, rather established, but [...]

Public Panties, Private Shame

Johnny — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 00:36:43 +0000

Normally I would not be found out drinking on a Wednesday night, but I had guests and the venue promised strippers in addition to an underwear contest. You may find it surprising that the strippers are what interested me the most. Upon arriving with my posse I took notice of a tall, hairy, somewhat plump [...]

Ask Johnny Episode 3

Johnny — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 02:28:51 +0000

To all of those who have written in with questions, please don’t take offense at the sequence in which I answer. It isn’t personal, I promise. Jade wants to know my favorite holiday and children’s book and why. I will have to say that my favorite holiday is a toss between Veterans’ Day and New [...]

Happy Halloween

Boy Wonder — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 21:35:50 +0000

Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, Fuck It! Oh my god, I almost pissed myself at work - in costume! Thank you to Eric Schwartz…

Where Angels Fear To Tread

Johnny — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:52:20 +0000

I can’t say that I remember too much from my 5th birthday, but I can recall that cake and the basement of the house that sheltered me for my first 12 years. Note the shag carpet. I remember that carpet like it was yesterday. I adore shag, I have a large shag area rug in my [...]

Across The Universe

Boy Wonder — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 02:57:29 +0000

My work for today was canceled without warning and I found myself wondering what to do. What is it that I do when I’m not working? I couldn’t remember so I decided to go see a movie. Last Thursday I went to the opening of a gallery exhibition to see my friend, Jared, the photographer responsible [...]

Ask Johnny Episode 2

Johnny — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 17:53:18 +0000

Peters_girl asked me to write a bit about P’town. I would be glad to; it is definitely one of my most favorite places on this Earth that I have been to so far. Here in Palm Springs there are a handful of people that I see that I used to see back East and we [...]

‘Pet My Dog’ No Longer Euphemism

Johnny — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 03:34:10 +0000

What better way to bring in the next third of my life than with somebody who has been there since day 1, my Mom. She came out to spend my 30th with me. Aside from giving her a much needed break, I also set out to really do some special things with her. First was sushi [...]

Ask Johnny Episode 1

Johnny — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 01:10:58 +0000

Thanks to everybody that shared their ideas for this new segment on Hazzard Ahead. Our topic this time around came from dtwave who asked many related questions. 1. I imagine you have screaming, balls to the walls sex all the time, but that is probably more fantasy than reality. Give us sense of what the real [...]

Put Up Your Dukes

Johnny — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 19:28:22 +0000

Some of you may recognize this photo from my MySpace profile. It was taken at Warner Brothers on the set of Gilmore Girls over a year ago. What I didn’t realize until quite recently is that this town square set was also used for the Dukes of Hazzard television series. I’m not a fan of [...]

Communion

Johnny — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 18:31:49 +0000

We were raised Catholic but that did not seem to last long. We did the Sunday School thing and I remember being totally consumed with fear in and out of Sunday School. I was afraid to touch the walls or do anything without permission for fear of going to hell; from an early age the [...]

Vogue 300

Boy Wonder — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:50:43 +0000

A buddy at work rudely disrupted me at the office today to show me this totally brill video. I heart her for making me aware of its existence. Of course the first thing I thought of was sharing it with all of our beloved readers on Hazzard Ahead. I highly recommend using the full frame [...]

Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon

Boy Wonder — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 14:21:56 +0000

Facts of interest that occurred on this date in history: 1792 - The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy. 1931 - Britain went off the gold standard. 1942 - The B-29 Superfortress makes its maiden flight. 1964 - Malta becomes independent from the United Kingdom. 1981 - Sandra Day O’Connor is unanimously approved by the U.S. Senate as [...]

Johnny Rotten

Johnny — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:15:10 +0000

This is one of those stories that sounds so much better coming from my mom. When reminded of this story, she rolls her head back and says with great enthusiasm, “You were so rotten that morning, I could have…” made me a pancake mom? She was so not looking to make me breakfast. Those of you [...]

Ask Johnny

Johnny — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 21:05:17 +0000

Maybe you haven’t noticed, but things have been just a little dry here on Hazzard Ahead lately. I don’t know, I guess summer has taken a toll on me. The pace of life has slowed down a bit and I haven’t had any interest in the party thing or divulging my mysterious inner workings for [...]

TLA Picks A Winner

Boy Wonder — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 05:00:10 +0000

Our beloved RitaPHL wrote in today to announce that her TLA Video catalog had arrived and Johnny was smeared all across the cover - much to her obvious delight. Without her devotion and effort it might have been months before Johnny or I became aware of the honor. How about that dark, scruffy grimace, huh? [...]

Young Man, There’s No Need To Feel Down

Johnny — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 21:44:21 +0000

The majority of my summers as a lad were spent at the YMCA day camp. They wisely took us on all kinds of fun field trips, but Fridays were always for roller skating. Finally there was something I could kick ass with – I was the best skater in the entire camp, counselors included. I could [...]

Boob Tube

Boy Wonder — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 02:52:20 +0000

Our pal James Collins has done it again. This time he’s going for a royalty record by covering seven classic TV themes for our nostalgic delight. There is already a review on Billboard and the track will be available on iTunes next week. In the meantime, enjoy the video tribute I whipped up for him.

Ma Knows How To Party!

Johnny — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 23:50:32 +0000

My visit to Cleveland went by in a flash. One of Ma H’s cousins had his one year anniversary party a year late. They were obviously supposed to have it the year before, but his wife had this little breast cancer thing so it was postponed till the last weekend of July. She is healthy [...]

Apologize

Boy Wonder — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 05:31:21 +0000

Tomorrow my friend Michelle and I are going to see So You Think You Can Dance. It’s the results show so there won’t be as much dancing, but OneRepublic will be performing their song “Apologize” and I’m almost as excited about that as the possibility of seeing some more of Neil’s flesh live and in [...]