Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Friday, May 14th 2010

Cross Country Episode 4: Rocky Mountain High

Posted by Johnny

Before I begin this tale I’d like to introduce my co-pilot, navigator, communications manager and photographer, Scott. Scott was nice enough to accompany PD and me on our little jaunt. He was also been along on my last trip cross country in 2007 that ended in destruction when Milo was broken into and my ENTIRE music and DVD collection was taken and sold on the black market of the Mission in SF…. I’m still not over it. Can you tell?

With Scott’s superior ability to read and use maps, his state of the art Mac book, his various publications on popular and obscure points in the US and the blessing of portable WiFi we were two steps ahead of ourselves and knew everything we would need and want to know about all of our planned sites.

At a couple of points Scott’s office would begin to ooze over to my side and on two occasions moved the gear shift into a Neutral posistion… on the Interstate… while we were moving; a small price to pay for advanced communication and professional documentation.

Scott the navigator and cruise director

The drive through Vail and Breckenridge was the worst of the entire trip. It was stunning and quite difficult. We experienced sleet, snow, rain and extreme fog which made me mad that I didn’t get the right windshield wiper replaced nor did I apply Rain-X to the windshield. Bummer. An old friend from high school that I hadn’t seen in 10 years lives about 10 minutes from where I write this entry. I’m so stoked to see her and a little nervous. Till then…

Wednesday, May 12th 2010

Mom’s Day

Posted by Johnny

For this Moms Day I suggested that my brother and I do the cooking (we requested that she and my sisters remain on board for consulting). I made a honey mustard sauce for the grilled chicken and Carmen made his special BBQ sauce for the ribs. I also made a grilled corn, asparagus and goat cheese salad.

All went well except that I tried to save time by starting the chicken in the oven and then finishing it on the grill. This proved not be the best idea; the poultry was overcooked and even the brine couldn’t save it.

Live and Learn. Thank God for games on the deck to take our mind off the not so perfect dinner… Carmen’s ribs turned out perfectly… fucker.

Carmen and me at the grill.

Friday, May 7th 2010

Cross Country Episode 3: Lord of the Ring

Posted by Johnny
wah, wah

Change of plans, Four Corners was closed for remodeling. Bummer. It still didn’t stop us from taking pictures of the disappointment.

During the travels we stopped at several trading posts because I wanted a turquoise ring, a Navajo turquoise ring made in the 40’s. I had on my first cross country trip found a beautiful turquoise ring at an antiques shop in Salt Lake City. I wore this ring constantly and it was referred to as my “Elizabeth Taylor” ring by the Boss Lady herself, Chi Chi LaRue. I loved this ring and on cross country trip #4 my truck was broken into when I reached San Francisco from Ohio. Bummer. I’m still not over it.

The posts were a waste of time. They all carried the same generic crap that the tourists devour. I wasn’t going to find my treasure at a trading post, I needed an antique shop. When I woke up in Cortez, CO and noticed the flyers advertising some right down the street from a local coffee shop I began to feel it calling to me. When I got a kick-ass cup of coffee I felt like this would be my time. It wasn’t. There was no antique shop, just a “For Rent” sign. Bummer.

We drove right to Durango, CO and I noticed an antique shop. We stopped in this cool little town got PD and walked over. I asked the woman promptly for the section where the Navajo rings were, preferably 40’s. There were none and when I started to walk out she told me to take a look in the back. There he was, all alone in a case, begging to be noticed. It was exactly what I wanted and for $20? This was God.

The rest of the day took us through the Rockies to Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park. I wrote this while in Glenwood Springs watching “The Shining”.

I’m so happy I got the ring.

Friday, April 30th 2010

Cross Country Episode 2: Beeb Beep!

Posted by Johnny

We had an early start in Needles, CA where I had terrible luck getting a decent cup of coffee. I finally found one… in Kingman, AZ. The girl who sold me my crack asked almost immediately where I was from.

The goal today was to cruise to Monument Valley and Valley of the Gods in Utah. It was drier than an 85-year-old pussy and I couldn’t apply the Burt’s Bees fast enough for the drive east.

Any fans of Warner Bros cartoons will understand that I had my eye out for the Roadrunner all day long.

PD’s obedience and completely relaxed attitude was amazing; whenever we got out to take pictures he would stick close by and never goof off.

Cortez, CO was our final destination. It’s relatively close to Durango and The 4 Corners which is where we start day three.

Thursday, March 25th 2010

It Doesn’t Get Much Better Than This: Spring In NYC

Posted by Johnny

Thanks again Will for being so fucking rude thus enabling me to re-establish my blog. ;)

I’ve been in NYC since the 17th and in the last few days Spring has sprung and has me longing for the seasonal bliss one encounters after a long, annoying desolate Eastern winter (had I been in the desolate Eastern winter).

Last night I had the privilege to hang out with my boys from Rufskin who were throwing a party at G Lounge in NYC’s Chelsea gay-bor-hood. It’s what these guys are about that I hope myself to be someday soon: they are unaffected, creative, successful, chill, sweet and generous. Since I’ve been away I’ve stuck to my standard meals at their standard times. This is included but not limited to:

  1. Egg and cheese on an authentic NYC whole wheat bagel, an apple and Starbuck’s coffee.*
  2. Tuna salad wrap and a cookie
  3. protein bar
  4. copious amounts of dark beer, Jack Daniels and pizza.

*There is nowhere else that I have had a bagel like the ones on NYC’s Upper West Side. They are truly unmatched in texture and density. I heart NY bagels!

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