A short while ago I was asked to shoot a campaign for a new vintage Men’s Resale shop called ConsignmenLA owned by Ryan Crowe.

I arrived, on time, as usual, to the location which was his gorgeous loft downtown. I was driving a beautiful new mustang convertible which I was still getting used to as I drove into the parking lot behind a fairly large pick up. I inched forward trying to judge the space between myself and the Ford Goliath in front of me when I hit him ever so gently. Daddy was a bit scared now; these are the sort of altercations you hear about in the news. I waited for the person in the truck to either come out swinging, yelling or both. Instead a smiley Mexican man with a western style hat came out and surveyed the damage. He looked down and as he did I poked my head out of my shiny blue car and apologized explaining that I had just gotten the car and was still getting used to it, obviously. He smiled even bigger and shrugged his shoulders and said to me, “This thing is so old, I’m more worried about your car, it’s so nice.”

Come again? Are you serious ? This is LA not some small town in Idaho, but he was serious and after I saw there was no damage we shook hands, exchanged smiles once again and he was off. It was then that I noticed a 10 inch hitch attached to the underside of the Ford. I didn’t feel so incapable of maneuvering my Mustang anymore.

After a short wait for the photographer, and a lovely visit to the craft services table ( I requested pretzels and mangoes) we were shooting all over the space and even the rooftop which I must say was GORGEOUS!

I cannot say enough how much I love doing shoots like this… shoots where I’m modeling clothes and not skin. For one, I can actually eat the day before and the day of and not feel as if I’m the spokesperson for Lane Bryant and two, it’s just so fucking easy to do… for me. I’ve guilty of watching an entire season of Americas Next Top Model in a single sitting.

Rumor has it that this photo will be running in the holiday issue of a local newspaper here called Frontiers and another rumor has it (God I hope this one is true) that he’s renting a billboard somewhere in West Hollywood. This will be my first billboard and I have to say from a completely egotistical standpoint, I’m quite excited.

Check out the website ConsignmenLA.com and you bitches in WeHo, keep a lookout for the ad in Frontiers and the billboard sometime around the holiday.

Over the last few years I’ve made several attempts at getting my t-shirt company up and running and each attempt had one common flaw: It was too much work. I don’t mean that in the “I want something for nothing” way, it was more work than it needed to be and that sapped my enthusiasm even more than my resources.

After a few dazzling debt hurdles I suddenly found myself relatively free of financial obligation. Finally I was able to make my money work for me and let me tell you sister – it’s been workin’. Gone are the days of inhaling bleach fumes all day with my place littered with pails of dye. No more self-advertising, self-selling, pavement pounding nonsense for me. Let someone else take care of that for a change, someone who does it PROFESSIONALLY. I don’t make my own butter because there are people that do it better than I ever could and this is the same sort of deal.

My new line, Hazz-been, is a tribute to and a reflection of my green ways; I’m so green that I don’t use plastic bags when I collect PD’s little nuggets, I use paper towels (I do however, keep a couple of plastic bags on hand in case we have an ass-plosion). The name Hazz-been was a last resort after I learned my original idea of Haz* Mat was not so original, and neither were my other choices; I think I was only able to get Hazz-been because someone let it expire. I am currently working on another line that is more masculine, edgy and true-to-form, a little mischievous, but for right now, today and the next couple of days this is Hazz-been.

For a very long time that doesn’t really need to be defined here, I have been talking about making custom shirts to sell. And then there would be no mention for a while, and it would crop up again until finally I was forbidden from mentioning anything about it until I was ready to back up my statement with the goods.

That time has come.

After many trials and tribulations there is a batch of custom Hazzardized shirts available for purchase in the Johnny Hazzard Shop. Most of the shirts were individually customized by yours truly in the relative serenity of my stylishly appointed sitting room. And they can be further treated in a similar fashion if you so desire. Each shirt features a lovely Johnny Hazzard label I had made some time back so you get the full effect with any shirt you chose.

Due to the extremely unpredictable nature of Hazzardization no two shirts are alike and when this batch is gone I will make another similarly distinctive one to take its place. There will be no monotony on my watch!

There is a page on the shop dedicated to the items currently available that will reflect changes in the near future. You may access it directly by clicking here.

Thank you and good afternoon.

Doing the Grabbys was a lot of fun, but there was one small thing that annoyed me. It was my hair. Because it is so long and thick I have to plan days in advance if it is to be shown at an event such as the Grabbys. I have to wash it in enough time so that by showtime it is relaxed enough and the oils are distributed through my scalp and hair. It is exhausting – especially to a low maintenance guy like me. Not to mention that I find hair everywhere all the time. Usually I keep my mane under the cover of a bandana or perhaps my favorite Pink Floyd baseball cap. That allows me to keep the beast under control and provides me with an excuse to don head gear; my favorite accessory. When doing dance gigs and co-hosting events the Pink Floyd hat does not bode well. So I spend time and energy taming the beast and getting it ready for outside world.

On Wednesday last week I woke up, took a shower and spent the usual 10 minutes washing my hair and another 3 picking it up off my white bathroom floor. At that moment I took a look in the mirror and felt an urge to cut it. This was fleeting as I began to brush it and noticed that it was getting to that perfect length where it can be pulled behind my ears; I love doing that. I walked outside and encountered the first day of summer here in the desert. It was 103. That feeling I had after I finished my shower had returned and stayed with me all day. I couldn’t shake it, the thought of shaving my head seemed not only rebellious (I also love doing that) but extremely comfortable and free; two things that dictate the way I live. So I took the shears to my scalp later that night.

Let me tell you, it was a shock to see all that hair falling around me. I ran my hand over my head and was so excited that there would be no huge Albert Einstein hair to calm in the morning and no more strategic pomade application to my temples and the roots of my crown. I was free from all that, plus feeling the wind blow over my new skin was intoxicating. I was also sooooo glad that I have no odd crevices or bumps on my head, I have a perfect head shape if I do say so myself. Thanks ma!

I know there will be some tears and gasps, but I like the new look and that is what this business is about to some degree; changing it up and keeping you guys (and girls!) surprised. Aside from that, it’s Palm Springs people and there’s no way I’d make it through the summer heat with those curly locks!

Hair-less and fancy free.

Last week I had two scenes, two sets of stills and a photo shoot with Greg Thompson for a French magazine. PREF is an oversize, high gloss, fashion-esque magazine that I was very excited to be a part of. It was going to be a long couple of days in front of the camera doing everything from the gritty to the gorgeous.

My first scene was with Tyler Saint, a blond, blue-eyed newbie from LA and good ol’ Tyler Riggz at a resort here in Palm Springs. As I walked through the gate to the set I noticed that we were not alone. There were guests sprawled all around looking like they were waiting for the fireworks display at a fourth of July picnic. I was not in the mood for an audience. I voiced my concern to Boss Lady who promptly told me that they would remain behind the scenes out of sight or pay the $100 to view the festivities, just kidding. I mean, about the cash, Chi Chi of course said that to me in her classic snap.

Being with Mr. Riggz again (our last romp awarded us with Best Sex Scene at the 2006 GAYVNs) was a very comforting experience; it was like being with your brother – kind of. The newbie Tyler was also cool, calm and collected. We breezed through that scene and were home in what I think was record time. I can’t tell anymore, all I know is that I didn’t have to tap my foot at all during the shoot and that is a good thing.

Getting home before sunset allowed me just enough time to grab a can of tuna from my cupboards before I had to meet Greg at the Century Resort for the first portion of our shoot. I raced over there eating my tuna in the truck; it was better to keep going than to stop and allow the foe of fatigue to find me.

Greg wanted to do something truly representative of PS. A mid-century resort of the appropriate architecture with a mountain backdrop was perfect. Unfortunately we lost our sun by this time and had to settle for the lobby. The good thing about that was it allowed us to work with Greg’s signature lighting talents. This man bought the rights to “Let there be Light.” When Greg began to rub his face in an unnerving wiping motion from head to chin in tiny fits, it was clear. We were done there. The owner was kind enough to give us a room to store our costumes and equipment, allowing us to crawl directly to bed.

Although fresh as cucumber water I remained a bit delirious, and still in full makeup from the night before, as I got into my Andrew Christian skivvies. I think the pictures came out pretty good; I did not stay to find out, I had a call time of 2 PM for a scene and still needed to scrape the bronze make up from my body and get to the gym for a pre-scene pump.

This scene was with our newest edition, Blake Riley from Texas. Adorable with big browns and an ass that makes you thank God and request a copy of the mold. Again it was a record time performance, 2.5 hours from make-up chair to shower. OK?

For every movie we are required to do a set of stills. Since I had two movies – I had two sets of stills. Greg and I have this down to a silent science. I was done in 2hrs; we were on a roll. There. I was finally done. I don’t think that I have ever done so much in the way of posing and performing in such a short period of time. Not only did I have to turn on the Johnny Jam twice, two days in a row, but I had to turn it around and be the high-class glossy fashion model in a matter of seconds. Moments after I came, when all I usually want to do is eat chocolate, I had to get in full bronze body make up and work it Linda style.

Tune in soon for tales of my weekend with Chi Chi in her hometown. Now I sleep.