Thursday, March 9th 2006

Yesterday I dropped mom at LAX for her red eye back home. The entire day I saw that she was keeping something back. Tears. Sadness. It broke my heart really, I was so sad to have to end what was such a great time for her. I could’ve honestly had her here for an additional week. Easy. But she had to go back. It was suprisingly painful for me that I actually cried most the way down La Cienega. I told her to call me when she got to the gate. I really meant it and felt so relieved to hear from her once she was there. Had this been the way she had felt when I left for my first day of kindergarten?

So tonight is the big night. The 2006 GAYVN Awards. I’m up for 5, including: “Best Actor”, “Best Performer”, “Best Solo Scene”, “Best Sex Scene”, and something else obviously not of much interest to me. The movie itself carries 12. To tell you the truth, I am a bit nervous. Not only for me, but for my company. This was such a monumental group effort. We all worked very hard to make this happen. Some had to work “harder” than others. Oh come on! You didn’t think I was going to let that pass did you? Last night and the better part of this morning were spent finishing the blazer I designed special for the event(s). Funny, I knew this was happening last year yet I still waited until 2 days before the party to start my project. I guess that keeps it fresh.