Monday, August 21st 2006
Crabby About Crowds
Posted by Boy Wonder
I really hate crowds. It isn’t the lack of space or claustrophobia, but the concentration of stupidity that gets me. People do not know how to behave in ANY situation and that is magnified in groups. It isn’t their fault really. Their parents should have been sterilized by the state.
For some reason tonight I felt compelled to post this video. I don’t know why. It could have waited. And after watching live coverage of John Karr’s Thai Airlines plane sitting at LAX for twenty minutes because even that was better than the Teen Choice Awards I was really ready for bed. Still I found myself unable to resist cutting this together for our loyal fans here at Hazzard Ahead. You can thank me later. Now it’s anxiety dream slumber time!
Boy Wonder, I certainly share your sentiment where crowds are concerned. It seems when I am out and about EVERYONE has to be exactly where I want and/ or need to be. It never fails. I have yet to venture further west than Arkansas, but I would not be surprised if the madness that occurs at my local super Wal-Mart center every Sunday tops anything on offer in Los Angeles. The scene can best be described as rednecks gone wild!!!
State sponsored sterilization? I think my zero percent growth rate political platform finally has another supporter.
Teen Choice Awards? I am honestly at a loss of words (that’s a first). The show actually included a category called best grill (not the kind utilized for cooking) in which Hulk Hogan’s daughter took home the prize. What’s with those surfboards anyhow? Is this just another attempt by celebrities to hijack an activity that was once quietly enjoyed by us common people?
Zero percent growth rate is too conservative. I’m with George Carlin “Take the warning labels off and let nature take its course!”
Pants off to BW for creating a really great clip. My blog is the first thing I see in the morning, it’s the newest edition to my morning routine. I loved it, a brilliant, wonderful way to start my day; a hearty laugh and big smile knowing that I have somebody really talented working with me.
Oh my god, that’s so sweet! Are you high? On life?
Jerrod, Have the pants come off yet? I just wanted to reiterate and reinforce the praise Johnny directed towards you. Your efforts to create a safe, entertaining web destination are truly appreciated. You must also be in possession of some thick skin because I can only imagine some of the hostile content you protect us viewers from. So, soak in the praise, give yourself a pat on the back, and allow your head to swell just a little because you certainly are worthy of the recognition.
No way - I am SO thin-skinned it’s ridiculous! So far I haven’t had to deal with very much in the way of hostility here on the blog. Drunken e-mails are another thing entirely, but they’re usually so stupid you can’t help laughing.
Believe me, I am very happy that fans of Johnny (that contribute to the site anyway) lean towards the literate and interesting end of the scale of humanity. Color me shocked because I expected the WORST when we introduced comments.
And thank you very much, Robert. Appreciation will get you everywhere!
I love that. You guys are cute together. What-EVAHHH!
Perhaps it’s getting older, or I think it’s also just getting tired of the artifice that surrounds so much of the scene. Many scenes, actually. Give me an environment with real people and real conversation. Amen.
The reviews are in -
“Brilliant! A must-see! The feel-sort-of-okay movie of the summer! Two thumbs way, way up! A couple of fingers too!”
Roger Ebert
“Lost In Translation meets Before Sunrise meets Absolutely Fabulous in this funny-sad meditation on life, love, getting older, and getting crabs. Pic should appeal to the art-house circuit and those who love their men with tattoos and brains.”
Variety
“Post-modernism machismo crash head-on against post-Madonna Queer culture in the best case yet for a rethinking of gender values and challenging the male/queer authority status, as illustrated by the provocative cameo of a blonde drag queen getting her freedom of expression stifled (or “shutted up” by her sisters, in typical Stepford Wives fashion of victims becoming the oppressor). My point? Women have balls. At least I do.”
Camille Paglia
“Un Film Noir metaphysique en hommage a Antonioni, Hitchcock, Welles, John Ford, Fritz Lang, Preston Sturges, Billy Wilder, Mankiewicz, D.W. Griffith, Chaplin, Jacques Tati, Kenneth Anger, Paul Morrissey, Jean Genet, Scorsese, Manuel De Oliveira, Godard et Les Marx Brothers. A voir absolument pour frimer devant vos amis.”
Les Cahiers du Cinema
O-H M-Y G-O-D!
That comment made me late for work.
Spelling out the Holy Name made you late for work? No wonder you think twice before using it.